Look at this futuristic shit, it’s a floating fucking Bluetooth speaker. That shit looks fucking cool and even spins and shit. How does it work? Fucking magnets.
Sometimes peeling oranges can be a real bitch, not with this little motherfucker. This thing makes opening oranges fucking easy… And it’s only $0.45 for a set of two. You’re going to need two cause you know you’re going to lose these little fuckers in your kitchen-crap drawer. Shit, at this low-ass price you can buy a bunch of these orange fuckers and give them out to your friends.
Look at this lazy-ass fucking outfit. Yeah, that’s a cozy-ass adult onesie with fucking walruses all over it. or is it Walri? Walri are cooler than Wilfred Fucking Brimley.
Your girlfriend will get so hot in this 100% polyester jumpsuit that you’ll have her naked in no time… or if you live in a butt-cold place, she’ll be so stoked you got this for her that she’ll want to stay in and get all cozy with you and shit. Win fucking win.